One Year Blogiversary

A year ago today, I started this blog as a way to get back into the habit of writing on a regular basis.  To that end, it has been mostly successful.  I’d like to write a little more frequently, and time permitting, I will strive to do so this year.  I’m grateful for the handful of people who take the time to check for new posts–you know who you are.  (Um, because you are probably the only ones who will see this.)

Singulair making me moody?

I was stunned when I heard the news yesterday that the FDA is investigating a link between the popular asthma/allergy drug Singulair and suidical thoughts.  Other side effects being reported include anxiety, mood swings, depression, fatigue.

Stunned because two months ago I started taking Singulair.  And (coincidentally?) it has been for about two months that I’ve been struggling with anxiety, fatigue, and dramatic mood swings–thrilled one minute and crying the next.  To think it could be caused by my allergy drug is surprising.  I don’t know whether to be relieved or angry.  I had been attributing my emotional state to a stressful schedule, issues at work, not enough sleep, etc., and have started to address those areas.  And those may in fact be the responsible or contributing factors.  But in retrospect it seems odd that the onset of my difficulties so closely correlates with when I started taking Singulair, when there were no other major events in my life that would account for the change. 

I’ve stopped taking Singulair and will talk to my doctor about an alternative.  While the recommendation is that people not immediately discontinue the drug, for me, my allergies and asthma are not life-threatening.  But if the reports are correct, taking Singulair could be. 

With a spoonful of sugar…

…to mask the bitter taste, I jumped on board.  He is not my first choice, not my second, but a heck of a lot better than anything the Dems are offering up.

So I slapped this button on my shoulder bag, not as a ringing endorsement, but as a counter to all the Hillary and BO promotions I’ve been seeing around my neighborhood.

Sad turtle

Found this photo on my cell phone while clearing out some old data.  This was taken at Christmas during our visit to the Maritime Aquarium in Norwalk, CT. Looks thrilled, doesn’t he?

It also doesn’t make any sense that the turtle’s head would be looking out from the back of its shell like that, but whatever.

Our weekend

On Saturday we picked up a new bike for the boy from the MV Big Flea pre-sale. He took to it like, as they say, a fish to water. Last summer he had a 12″ starter bike and he rode it a few times, but didn’t quite have the coordination to pedal and steer at the same time. What a difference a few months makes. He sometimes needs a little push to get started, but once he gets going he does a great job with pedaling, steering, and braking. So we spent much of the weekend in the neighborhood, him on his bike and me walking alongside, or a few paces back once he really got going. This weekend I need to get some air in my bike tires so I can ride with him.

A few other recent FOs

Here are a few other recently finished objects that I’ve knitted:

Peekaboo Mittens

Baby Kimonos

“Fetching” Fingerless Gloves

“Amanda” Hat

Happy St. Paddy’s Day!

It took 9 days of stealing a moment here and a moment there to knit, but I finished in time to wear today for St. Patrick’s Day: the Lacy Prairie Shawl in a gorgeous shade of variegated green.

The shawl is a pattern from Cheryl Oberle’s Folk Shawls in the Verde Adriana colorway of Malabrigo, the absolute softest wool yarn ever.

Now, to find a way of wearing it that doesn’t make me look like Jemima Puddle-Duck.

Jarring

Though I have 5000+ songs on my iPod, I’ve gotten into a habit of listening to the same 20-30 songs over and over.   My husband suggested I shake things up a little bit by using the random album function.  So this morning at work I did just that.  The first album up, Cocteau Twins’ “Heaven or Las Vegas,” worked well as background music while I did some paperwork.  But I forgot it was on random and when the Cocteau Twins album ended, an old compilation album came up next and the first track was Public Enemy’s “I Don’t Want to Be Called Yo Nigga.”  What a jolt from my Cocteau-induced relaxation!  At least I had the sound on headphones…..

Talking about death with a child

The boy (4 y.o.) and I have a bedtime routine.  After bedtime stories, we turn out the lights and I lay beside him for a few minutes before he falls asleep.  Sometimes we talk, sometimes we just snuggle and enjoy some special time at the end of a busy day.  Two nights ago, seemingly out of nowhere, he burst into tears.  When I asked what was wrong, he said “When I’m grown up you are going to die and I will miss you.”  We’ve talked a little bit before about death and that all living things eventually die, but in a very superficial way.  In the past, telling him that I hoped to live a long long time and that he’ll be all grown up before I die was enough to mollify him.  That night, there was no consoling him.  He said, “I’m sorry, that’s just the way it is–you are going to die and I’ll be sad.”  I tried talking about Heaven, and that I’d always be watching out for him, and that we’d be together again someday…but it didn’t seem to make him feel any better.  I tried another tack, saying that this is why we try to eat healthy foods, and be safe, and go to the doctor when we need to–so that we can try to live long healthy lives.  He was unimpressed by that as well.  He continued to cry and repeat that “that’s just the way it is, you are going to die and I’ll be sad.”  By then I was near tears myself because I couldn’t seem to soothe his sadness.  I hugged him tightly and didn’t say any more, and within a few minutes he had fallen asleep.  He seemed to sleep well, and the next morning was his usual cheerful self.

While I know that these questions are normal for kids his age, I’m not sure what prompted his particularly fatalistic outlook that night.  And it depressed me to no end that I wasn’t able to console him.  Up to this point, most everything that bothered him, mommy could, in some way, make “all better.”  I know he will face many challenges and disappointments in life and it’s the job of his father and me to prepare him to overcome those and to move past them.  Ultimately we cannot, nor should we, fix everything for him.  But I didn’t think the time would come so soon when he would have a pain that mommy couldn’t make all better.