This sign appeared on the door of the office refrigerator yesterday:

Aside from the spelling and calendar errors, my favorite part is the use of BOLD, ALL CAPS, UNDERLINE, WITH MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” –Drew Carey
My usual means of keeping my caffeine addiction in check has been a financial one. I favor fancy coffee drinks–vanilla lattes, cappuccino, and the like. Since I allot myself a certain amount of “walking around” money each week, when the money is gone, no more Starbucks. This served me well, until last month, when a fancy new $1300 coffee maker, the Gaggia 90500 Titanium Super Automatic Espresso Machine, arrived in our office to supplement the standard drip coffee that had been provided gratis each day. Now, for the cost of the milk that I store in the office fridge, I can make a virtually unlimited supply of coffee-house quality espresso drinks with the push of a button. My coffee consumption has skyrocketed, the only restraint being that I won’t drink it after 1 pm each day. It definitely makes it easier to get through the morning, but I’m hating the crash that comes after the buzz wears off.
I like my phone cords to coil smoothly from base to receiver. With the evolution of phones to the cordless variety, this is less of an issue–except at my office, where corded phones are still the norm. When I left on maternity leave 4 months ago, the cord on my desk phone was in pristine condition. I came back last week to find a kinky, tangled mess. Whoever was working at my desk must have been stretching and pacing all over the office with that thing because it will no longer retract to its formerly smooth state. It’s been bothering me to the point of distraction. I’m considering sneaking into the conference room and swapping my cord with the nice one from that phone.
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