Found this photo on my cell phone while clearing out some old data. This was taken at Christmas during our visit to the Maritime Aquarium in Norwalk, CT. Looks thrilled, doesn’t he?
It also doesn’t make any sense that the turtle’s head would be looking out from the back of its shell like that, but whatever.
On Saturday we picked up a new bike for the boy from the MV Big Flea pre-sale. He took to it like, as they say, a fish to water. Last summer he had a 12″ starter bike and he rode it a few times, but didn’t quite have the coordination to pedal and steer at the same time. What a difference a few months makes. He sometimes needs a little push to get started, but once he gets going he does a great job with pedaling, steering, and braking. So we spent much of the weekend in the neighborhood, him on his bike and me walking alongside, or a few paces back once he really got going. This weekend I need to get some air in my bike tires so I can ride with him.
The boy (4 y.o.) and I have a bedtime routine. After bedtime stories, we turn out the lights and I lay beside him for a few minutes before he falls asleep. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we just snuggle and enjoy some special time at the end of a busy day. Two nights ago, seemingly out of nowhere, he burst into tears. When I asked what was wrong, he said “When I’m grown up you are going to die and I will miss you.” We’ve talked a little bit before about death and that all living things eventually die, but in a very superficial way. In the past, telling him that I hoped to live a long long time and that he’ll be all grown up before I die was enough to mollify him. That night, there was no consoling him. He said, “I’m sorry, that’s just the way it is–you are going to die and I’ll be sad.” I tried talking about Heaven, and that I’d always be watching out for him, and that we’d be together again someday…but it didn’t seem to make him feel any better. I tried another tack, saying that this is why we try to eat healthy foods, and be safe, and go to the doctor when we need to–so that we can try to live long healthy lives. He was unimpressed by that as well. He continued to cry and repeat that “that’s just the way it is, you are going to die and I’ll be sad.” By then I was near tears myself because I couldn’t seem to soothe his sadness. I hugged him tightly and didn’t say any more, and within a few minutes he had fallen asleep. He seemed to sleep well, and the next morning was his usual cheerful self.
While I know that these questions are normal for kids his age, I’m not sure what prompted his particularly fatalistic outlook that night. And it depressed me to no end that I wasn’t able to console him. Up to this point, most everything that bothered him, mommy could, in some way, make “all better.” I know he will face many challenges and disappointments in life and it’s the job of his father and me to prepare him to overcome those and to move past them. Ultimately we cannot, nor should we, fix everything for him. But I didn’t think the time would come so soon when he would have a pain that mommy couldn’t make all better.
I’m not talking about the horrible stories of meanness and abuse. No, Alice at Finslippy has collected these tales of bad moves by otherwise good parents, stuff that works out ok in the end, and makes for a good family story for decades to come. So next time I have one of those cringe-inducing moments when I feel like a bad, bad mommy, at least I won’t feel so alone.
Neil Hutchison was devastated and desperate when doctors said there was nothing more they could do to help his 7 year old son, Sam. Sam has a rare and deadly form of nerve cancer and doctors had exhausted their treatment options. So Mr. Hutchison, a defense-contract recruiter who majored in chemical engineering in college, decided that they had nothing to lose and began to research own recipe of cancer cocktails to give his son. And so far, it might be working–for now.
While many–including physicians–criticize Mr. Hutchison for experimenting on his son, don’t most parents understand the urge to save their child using any means possible? To look at it another way, if, like Mr. Hutchison, you believed that there might be something within your power to help, but you decided not to try…how would you live with yourself?
“When your kids have run out of options, you have to think outside the box,” Mr. Hutchison says. “It’s terrifying, but it’s our only hope.”
EhiPassika posted yesterday about a study indicating that a spoonful of honey is more effective than over the counter medications for soothing coughs in children. Since the boy has been suffering with a nighttime cough for the past few days, I decided last night to give the folk remedy a try.
The boy was pleased with the taste of the elixir, and I’m happy to report that our very limited unscientific trial of one night was a success. The honey was just as effective as the children’s cough medicine that he’d been given on previous nights. In both cases, he received a “dose” of honey/medicine at bedtime and it suppressed the coughing for about 5 hours. Another dose when he woke up with a coughing fit at 1 am quieted the cough for the remainder of the night.
I’m not prepared to throw away the cough medicine just yet, but I’ll definitely offer honey first from now on.
At the young age of 37 days, little Lauren passed away this morning. I never met Lauren personally, but I’ve been following her story closely for the past three weeks since I learned of her illness. She is the infant cousin of one of my dearest friends. All seemed well during the pregnancy and the first days of Lauren’s life. Then suddenly she stopped breathing and then starting having seizures when she was just three days old. In the hospital with extensive testing, it was discovered that she had an untreatable, fatal metabolic disorder. She was taken off the ventilator 2 weeks ago and has been held by loved ones round the clock since then.
I am beside myself with grief for this family. How horrible to know that your baby is dying and know there’s not a thing you can do about it. My religious faith is somewhat shaky to begin with, and I’m having a hard time understanding this. It just seems so cruel to bring a beautiful life into being and then to snatch it away.
I always thought language and expression were my strengths, but words seem so inadequate now. If any good can come out of this, it’s surely the reminder to appreciate our blessings. How easily fate can take a different, darker path.
EhiPassika has been chronicling the many ways that China is trying to harm us with its shoddy lead-filled toys, faulty tires, poisoned toothpaste, and tainted food. Yet another 9 million made-in-China toys were recalled today by Mattell.
With more than 80 percent of toys sold worldwide made in China, toy sellers are nervous that shoppers will shy away from their products.
Um, ya think?!?!
Mattell, to its credit, is attempting to get in front of this one and reassure parents that they are addressing the issues that led to the recall.
While chatting with the boy before bed last night, he told me very sweetly that he loves me and I am “nice” and “really useful.” For those of you who are not parents of young children, that’s high praise from a boy who is enamored with Thomas the Tank Engine.
He’s a really useful engine, you know
All the other engines they’ll tell you so
He huffs and puffs and whistles
Rushing to and fro
He’s the really useful engine we adore
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